Woke up feeling…not sure how to describe what it is that I am feeling. Tired? Sick? Depleted? Heartbroken? Anxious?
I look at the grass glistening with dew. The birds are singing. The humidity captures and accentuates the smell of lilacs. The scent is almost suffocating. I don’t recall the lilacs ever smelling that strongly.
How is it that I am surrounded by such peace and beauty and yet I still feel…Tired? Sick? Depleted? Heartbroken? Anxious? (Perhaps I am feeling all of these things?)
Two horrific shootings in our country over the weekend — yet again. Two acts of violence that capture how sick we as a people are. My prayers for those grocery shopping in Buffalo and those attending church in California feel hollow. I am numb. And yet, I need to focus. I have stories to write. I have stories to edit. There are magazine deadlines that cannot be missed.
But it is hard to get to work today. Hard because all that I do today seems trivial and silly compared to the great pain, the endless tears and the broken hearts of those grieving today.
I cannot believe we are living in a world where we risk our lives going to get groceries, going to school, going to church, going to…wherever.
I want to retreat further into the woods. Go off the grid. But that is not the solution to the world’s pain and suffering.
And so I find myself sipping my coffee with tears streaming down my face. I have deadlines to meet. I have stories to write. The world’s love of productivity prods me to get on with my day.
My reply to the world, “Really? Get on on with the day?” Is “getting on with our day” the way we heal a broken world?
When do our hearts ever have a chance to heal anymore?
There seems to be no reprieve from horrific news. And each headline, each senseless death, each act of hate, rips off the tender scab that began forming on our tender hearts.
All I have left inside of me is a tired, broken whisper: Lord, in your mercy. Hear our prayers.
May God’s mercy wash over us this day and may our bitter tears flow into deep streams of grace.
Sometimes you have to write from the heart before you can write from your head…
So true. Our heads can hinder our hearts…Blessings to you!!!!
Thank you! Your words captured my feelings completely. We all need to pray….Lord, in your mercy. Hear our prayers.
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Mary Jo, I am glad my words resonated. We are not alone in this crazy world. I think we need to be reminded of that as well. Blessings!
I just wrote that all I can do today, as I do each day: Love people. Be kind. Show a generous spirit. Give grace. Every day, when I think about my place in the world, I think about what can I do today to make it just a little bit better.
Amen!! Wonderful words. Yes, we must do our part this day to love, be kind and display a generous spirit. Thank you for bringing that joy into my day today. Blessings!
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Donna, I so understand how you feel. There is no normal anymore is there. We had a shooting at our mall the other day. Luckily only the two who were arguing were involved but that’s not lucky by any means when some one is hurt through someone else’s stupidity and hate. I feel that every fun thing I do or anything that I plan is all superfluous and I shouldn’t enjoy anything any more. I feel so much pain for those who have lost loved ones and even fear of doing the normal things. My husband and I are retired and are finally able to do some of the things we’ve always wanted to do especially travel and yet I feel guilty for wanting to do those very things I’ve longed to do, but yet I read the other day that looking for beauty in life is the spark we need to show that we still believe in the beauty and goodness in the world. Our God is faithful and just and he told us there would be pain and trouble in the world, but that he has overcome the world. We just need to hold on to that promise and know that in the world to come every tear will be dried and there will be no more pain!
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I loved what you shared about how looking for the beauty in life is the spark in the world we need to show that we still believe in the beauty and goodness…AMEN! Yes, we need to flood the airwaves, the media with words of hope and the beauty that reminds us that these tribulations will not overcome us. Thank you for that!!!! Blessings, Donna
Oh, Donna! I didn’t read this until just now, almost 10:00 PM. And I wish I could have been there with you this morning, to give you a hug, accept a cup of coffee, and pray with you. I am praying now, and sending you my wish for a big hug, which doesn’t fix the world’s problems or the evil that weighs us down, but it does serve our need for “God with skin on”… I think even Jesus had days like this. Remember how he wept over Jerusalem, and sometimes seems a tad annoyed at the cluelessness of the Twelve? My prayer every time I step into the pulpit, and often when I am with someone who is hurting, is from one of my favorite songs: “You must be as a hollow flute, and let Creator sing you.” You have my love, my sister. Blessings, Lois
Yes, it was just so overwhelming yesterday morning. I intentionally stepped away from all the chatter over the weekend and then to get slammed with this news. I also learned a friend died suddenly…more on that later. To add to all of it, my “happy place” the antique store in Greenwich closed down. I would always find joy there when I needed it. There was just something so healing in touching these ancient treasures. And then I discovered that someone demolished the huge beaver hut that was on the rail trail I run on. I wanted to cry. I just hope it was a park ranger who did it and knew it was no longer being used by the beavers. I have noticed that beavers to vacate their homes and build new ones…I pray there are no displaced beavers. And so, my friend, it’s been a season of endings, closings, good-byes and senseless deaths. This too shall pass. Hugs!!!
Hey, Donna. Yes, what a way to start the week. I too feel like hopeless and helpless with the news from Buffalo, Ukraine, and about those who want to destroy our country from within. I try not to fill my mind with the bad news but to be kind, loving, and positive within my circle of influence, to make the days a bit brighter for those I love and come in contact with – and pray a lot for those who are hurting and grieving and displaced. Thank you for your words that resonate with so many of us and for your video ministry that gives me food for thought and hope for living in these troubled times.
Nancy, I think you are exactly right with focusing on being kind, loving and positive within our circles of influence!! I need to do that. And I need to find that balance of having to be up to date with the news (as a reporter and editor, you have to know what is going on) and with making sure the negativity doesn’t pull me under. A very good reminder to focus on being the hope in the world!! Blessings!